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gedenkenbrauchtwissen:

meanboysfromkremlin:

wow

file under ‘news about Russia that no longer surprises me’

Jul 31  -  91198 notes  -  via  -  original

Jul 31  -  28872 notes  -  via  -  original

Jul 31  -  26002 notes  -  via  -  original

asmilinggoddess:

this show is incredible

Jul 31  -  106488 notes  -  via  -  original

who keeps making Step Up movies and why 

Jul 31  -  48329 notes  -  via  -  original

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

Jul 30  -  446176 notes  -  via  -  original

upgraders:

my friend did a psychology class in high school and came to my house and diagnosed my cat with depression 

Jul 30  -  340328 notes  -  via  -  original

iceboats:

when u ask ur mom for fast food and she says yes and asks what u want image

Jul 30  -  340397 notes  -  via  -  original

trebled-negrita-princess:

stfusexists:

feminismandpugsarelife:

heremotionsickness:

Reblogging because I want all of my followers to be aware of just how much you can do in Photoshop, and how little of what you see on posters, in magazines and of pictures on the internet etc. are necessarily real. 

Imagine how the model feels, too. She was hired to be the most beautiful, but they still had to change her because her beauty wasn’t enough.

Not only is the general body distortion completely gross, but notice that they lighten her skin color. This is a white, blonde model, and they make her whiter. Actual white people aren’t even the ideal whiteness, so can you even imagine what models with dark skin have to endure in this industry?

so for all you girls that ask “Why can’t I look like the girls in magazines” it’s because the girls in magazines don’t even look like the girls in magazines.

trebled-negrita-princess:

stfusexists:

feminismandpugsarelife:

heremotionsickness:

Reblogging because I want all of my followers to be aware of just how much you can do in Photoshop, and how little of what you see on posters, in magazines and of pictures on the internet etc. are necessarily real. 

Imagine how the model feels, too. She was hired to be the most beautiful, but they still had to change her because her beauty wasn’t enough.

Not only is the general body distortion completely gross, but notice that they lighten her skin color. This is a white, blonde model, and they make her whiter. Actual white people aren’t even the ideal whiteness, so can you even imagine what models with dark skin have to endure in this industry?

so for all you girls that ask “Why can’t I look like the girls in magazines” it’s because the girls in magazines don’t even look like the girls in magazines.

Jul 30  -  406868 notes  -  via  -  original

d0gbl0g:

pupside down

d0gbl0g:

pupside down

Jul 30  -  47514 notes  -  via  -  original